Apu Quotes (1 - 8 out of 29)
A hard working father of eight, Apu runs the Qwick-E-Mart. We overlook his ungodly hot dogs and stale merchandise because of the polite, patient manner in which he deals with all customers, from an unreasonable Homer to a violent Nelson.

Apu: Please do not offer my god a peanut.
Quote Rating:
8.6 outta 10
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Homer: No offense Apu, but when they're handing out religions you must be out taking a whizz.
Apu: Mr. Simpson, pay for your purchases and get out...and come again.
Quote Rating:
8.6 outta 10
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Apu: Will this bewitching floozy, seduce this humble newsie? Oh, what's a paperboy to...doooo?
Quote Rating:
8.3 outta 10
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Apu: Silly customer, you cannot hurt a Twinkie!
Quote Rating:
8.1 outta 10
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Apu: I have come to make amends, sir. At first, I blamed you for squealing, but then I realized, it was I who wronged you. So I have come to work off my debt. I am at your service.
Homer: You're selling what, now?
Apu: I am selling only the concept of karmic realignment.
Homer: You can't sell that! Karma can only be portioned out by the cosmos.
Apu: He's got me there.
Quote Rating:
8.1 outta 10
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Apu: Thank you for coming. I'll see you in Hell.
Quote Rating:
7.9 outta 10
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Apu: By the 7 arms of Visnu, I swear it. I am not a Hindu.
Quote Rating:
7.8 outta 10
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Apu: Yes! I am a citizen! Now which way to the welfare office? I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I work, I work.
Quote Rating:
7.8 outta 10
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