Hans Moleman Quotes (1 - 8 out of 10)
Perfect for the occasional, pitiful utterances of a 31-year old man trapped inside a 107-year old body, Hans Moleman exudes quiet humor. Look and him and try not to laugh. Just try!
Homer: I thought you were dead
Mother Simpson: I thought you were dead
Gravedigger: Dang Blasted! Isn't anybody in this dad-gummed cemetery dead?
Hans Moleman: (popping out of coffin) I didn't want to make a fuss, but now that you mention it...
Quote Rating:
8.6 outta 10
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Hans: I was saying Boo-urns.
Quote Rating:
8.3 outta 10
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Hans Moleman: Lesbian?! This isn't my army reunion.
Gay man in army clothes: You're coming home with me.
Hans Moleman: Yes, Colonel.
Quote Rating:
8.2 outta 10
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(Apu comes back to his store after closing it down for 5 minutes – Hans is waiting) Hans Moleman: You cost me 5 minutes of my life and I want them back!
Apu: I am sorry, sir.
Hans Moleman: Never mind, I would have just wasted them anyway.
Quote Rating:
7.9 outta 10
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Homer: here's a quarter. You go call for help, and I'll protect the sugar.
Hans: If only this sugar were as sweet as you, sir.
Quote Rating:
7.9 outta 10
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Hans: A poem, by Hans Moleman. I think that I shall never see, my cataracts are blinding me.
Quote Rating:
7.3 outta 10
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Hans: Drinking has ruined my life. I'm 31 years old!
Quote Rating:
7.2 outta 10
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Hans: Today, part four of our series of the agonizing pain in which I live every day.
Quote Rating:
6.9 outta 10
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