Homer Simpson Quotes (73 - 80 out of 150)
As the patriarch of the Simpsons clan, Homer Simpson provides the most laughs, the most quotes and the most entertainment of any character on television. A caring, albeit oblivious, father of three, Homer can be found at his nuclear power plant job, at Moe's bar, or on the couch.
Homer: Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.
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Bart: I smell a museum.
Homer: Yeah, good things don't end with 'eum,' they end with 'mania' or 'teria.'
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Bart: I am through with working. Working is for chumps.
Homer: Son, I'm proud of you! I was twice your age when I figured that out.
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Homer: Okay, I'm never going to win Father Of The Year. In fact, I'm probably the last guy in the world to have kids... wait, let me rephrase that. I love my kids. I'd do anything for Bart and Lisa.
Judge: And Margaret?
Homer: Who? Lady, you must have the wrong file.
Marge: She's talking about Maggie.
Homer: Oh, Maggie. I've got nothing against Maggie.
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Homer: Remember that postcard Grandpa sent us from Florida of that Alligator biting that woman's bottom? That's right, we all thought it was hilarious. But, it turns out we were wrong. That alligator was sexually harrassing that woman.
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Kent Brockman: Scientists say they're also less attractive physically and while we speak in a well-educated manner, they tend to use low-brow expressions like 'oh yeah?' and 'com'ere a minute.'
Homer: Oh yeah? They think they're better than us, huh? Bart! Com'ere a minute.
Bart: You com'ere a minute."
Homer: Oh yeah?
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Homer: Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!
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Mother Simpson: [sings] How many roads must a man walk down / Before you can call him a man...
Homer: Seven.
Lisa: No, dad, it's a rhetorical question.
Homer: OK, eight.
Lisa: Dad, do you even know what "rhetorical" means?
Homer: Do *I* know what "rhetorical" means?
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