Lisa Simpson Quotes (1 - 8 out of 18)
Lisa Simpson may not be the funniest character on the show, but she may be the smartest. At eight years old, Lisa is the middle Simpsons' child, but she often acts at least twice her age. Which may explain her usual lack of humor.
Lisa: Dad, don't you think you're overreacting?
Homer: Don't you think you're *under*reacting?
Lisa: This conversation is over.
Homer: This conversation is *under*.
Lisa: Goodbye.
Homer: *bad*bye
Quote Rating:
9.0 outta 10
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Lisa: Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?
Homer: Well, I think the veal died of loneliness.
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Barney: Hello, my name is Barney Gumble, and I'm an alcoholic.
Lisa: Mr Gumble, this is a girl scouts meeting.
Barney: Is it, or is it you girls can't admit that you have a problem?
Quote Rating:
8.8 outta 10
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Homer: Oh Lisa, there's no record of a hurricane ever hitting Springfield.
Lisa: Yes, but the records only go back to 1978 when the hall of records was mysteriously blown away.
Quote Rating:
8.8 outta 10
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Lisa: I'm an ugmo.
Homer: Now, that's not true. You're cute as a bug's ear.
Lisa: Father's have to say that little stuff.
Homer: Dad, am I cute as a bug's ear?
Grandpa: No. You're homely as a mule's butt.
Homer: There. See?
Quote Rating:
8.7 outta 10
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Mother Simpson: [sings] How many roads must a man walk down / Before you can call him a man...
Homer: Seven.
Lisa: No, dad, it's a rhetorical question.
Homer: OK, eight.
Lisa: Dad, do you even know what "rhetorical" means?
Homer: Do *I* know what "rhetorical" means?
Quote Rating:
8.4 outta 10
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Lisa: Look at the "wonders" of the computer age now.
Homer: Wonders Lisa? Or blunders?
Lisa: I think that was implied by what I said.
Homer: Implied... Or implode?
Quote Rating:
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Lisa: I still believe in protecting animal's rights, but that still doesn't excuse what I did. I'm sorry for wrecking your barbecue, dad.
Homer: That's okay, honey. I used to believe in things too.
Quote Rating:
7.8 outta 10
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