Waylon Smithers Quotes (1 - 8 out of 9)
Burn's assistant who has a crush on the boss.
As Mr. Burns' loyal assistant, Waylon Smithers does all that his boss pleases in the office. Meanwhile, he makes it fairly obvious that he would like to abide by those same rules outside of the nuclear power plant. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Mr.Burns: Quick Smithers. Bring the mind eraser device!
Smithers:You mean the revolver, sir?
Mr.Burns: Precisely.
Quote Rating:
8.8 outta 10
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Burns: Look at that pig. Stuffing his face with donuts on my time! That's right, keep eating...Little do you know you're drawing ever closer to the poison donut! [cackles evilly, then stops abruptly] There is a poison one, isn't there Smithers?
Smithers: Err...no, sir. I discussed this with our lawyers and they consider it murder.
Quote Rating:
8.8 outta 10
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Burns: Smithers, I've been thinking. Is it wrong to cheat to win a million-dollar bet?
Smithers: Yes, sir.
Burns: Let me rephrase that. Is it wrong if I cheat to win a million-dollar bet?
Smithers: No, sir. Who would you like killed?
Quote Rating:
8.2 outta 10
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Burns: I should've known you were the only one stupid enough to kidnap you! Now get down here so I can spank you in front of this gawking rabble. Smithers, take off my belt.
Smithers: With pleasure, sir!
Quote Rating:
7.9 outta 10
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Smithers: I'm allergic to bee stings. They cause me to, uh, die.
Quote Rating:
7.6 outta 10
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Smithers: [To frozen Burns] Oh, Mr. Burns, we'll thaw you out the second they discover the cure for seventeen stab wounds in the back. How're we doing, boys?
Frink: Well, we're up to fifteen!
Quote Rating:
7.5 outta 10
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Mr. Burns: No one will want to kiss me after this, eh, Smithers?
Smithers: Well, it's their loss, sir.
Quote Rating:
7.4 outta 10
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Burns: I feel like such a free spirit, and I'm really enjoying this so-called...iced cream.
Smithers: Sir, in the spirit of the festival and everything, I'd just like to say that...[ahem]...I...love you.
Burns: Hmm?
Smithers: [quickly] In those colors! [aside] Oh, who am I kidding? The boathouse was the time!
Quote Rating:
6.8 outta 10
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